


Until

by hunters_retreat



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ed is not happy about this, Ed stays with Roy while he heals, Hurt Ed, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Roy is resigned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 05:47:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18147899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: Whatever it was, it was a one-time thing.   “It can’t ever happen again,” Mustang clarified.“Yeah.  So, do you have something for me or not?” Ed asked.  Mustang handed him a file and that was that. Until the next time it happened.





	Until

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by [ TinyInsignificantHumans](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyInsignificantHumans/pseuds/TinyInsignificantHumans). Errors are mine. Written for no reason that apparently I needed some non-FI angst in my life :P

Edward Elric stared up at the rather indiscriminate white ceiling above him.  The high ceilings and quiet around him were enough to tell him it wasn’t his room, but it wasn’t a hospital either.  He groaned as pain filtered into his awareness and he had to close his eyes as the room began to tilt.  Shit, this wasn’t good.  He remembered the mission, then.  He remembered being released from the hospital on the provision that someone was there to look after him.  He remembered lying to the staff and going home alone because Alphonse was in Xing and he didn’t have anyone else he could call for something like this. 

He remembered reaching for a pan and how the room around him had started to spin, and then nothing.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again to look around his surroundings.  He was lying on a large bed, between expensive, crisp white sheets with a heavy dark sapphire blue comforter over him.  Matching blue curtains were drawn shut, blocking the outside world from sight.  Ed could see a hint of daylight peeking around the edges.  In this room, that meant mid-afternoon.  Ed had been here enough to know the time by the way the light crept across the floor.

The desk in the corner was empty but a stack of files sitting on it said its occupant wasn’t far.  The fireplace grate held wood but no flame.  Ed looked at the bedside table closest to him and a glass of water was waiting, along with a small cup of pills.  Ed groaned, ignored the pills, and drank the water to relieve his dry throat.

“That was supposed to help with the pills,” Mustang’s carefully neutral voice said from the doorway.

“What the hell am I doing here?” Ed demanded.

“The doctor called when you missed your last appointment.  I went to speak with you about it but you were unconscious when I found you.  The doctor released you again, but only under 24-hour care.  Since we now know that Alphonse is in Xing, you’ll be staying with me for a few days.”

“I’m not staying here.”

“Yes, you are.”

Dark eyes met gold and neither was willing to give.  Ed couldn’t do it though.  He’d rather be back at the hospital.  “You can’t order me to stay here.”  Mustang didn’t say anything but Ed could see the way his fingers clenched against his arms where they were crossed over his chest.  “You can’t pay me enough to stay here either.  I’m not your whore anymore.”

Mustang flinched at the words but Ed saw him steel himself anyway.  The man wasn’t going to back down and bravado was all Ed had right now.

“I’ll take my files to the study now that you’re awake,” Mustang said in a quieter voice.  “I’ll bring food and your medicines at the proper time.  You won’t have to see me otherwise.”

It was a compromise and Ed realized it was the best he was going to get.  He didn’t say anything, couldn’t voice his resignation at the situation, so he just turned over with his back to the door. 

“I’ll bring more water so you can take your medicine.”

He heard the door start to close and couldn’t help himself.  “Do you take care of all your whores this well when you’re done with them?”

He heard the shudder of breath and a very soft but firm, “Fuck you, Ed,” before the door shut harshly between them. 

Ed closed his eyes against the tears that wanted to fall.  It hadn’t started out like this.  Like almost everything in Ed’s life, it had started by accident, run its wild course, and then left Ed emptied, hollowed out, and used. 

He wouldn’t cry though.  He couldn’t. 

Until the pain welled up too much and the medications took his strength and will and left him too vulnerable to hide it anymore.  He tried so hard, because he promised himself he wouldn’t cry over Roy fucking Mustang.

Until he found himself, head lying on his pillow, terribly alone in Mustang’s bed.

 

***

 

Even looking back, Ed didn’t think anyone could have foreseen the first time.  He’d gone to deliver a report, sure that the Bastard would be long gone.  What he got was Mustang, alone in his office, fuming about some meeting with a bunch of assholes gone wrong.  Ed dropped the report on his desk and ignored the ramblings, but then Mustang turned that anger against him as he began to read his statement and criticize his methods.  It was an old scenario, but it had been a rough mission and Ed was too tired to censor what little of his thoughts he usually did. 

“Fuck you, Mustang,” he said between gritted teeth.  “Don’t fucking tell me how to do my job.”

“It’s my job to tell you how to do yours, Fullmetal, when you do it so poorly.”

It was a bad call with Mustang so mad already but Ed couldn’t help himself.  He was itching for a fight so he slammed his hands down on the General’s desk.  “If I’m so bad at it, why the hell do you keep me around?  Because I’m so damn pretty?”

Mustang’s chair went flying backwards and the Flame Alchemist was across the desk before Ed could register that he’d moved.  Ed was pushed back against the wall and only instinct blocked the hand that would have clenched around his throat.

He didn’t block it well enough though and it slid past his neck and found a hold in his hair, forcing Ed’s head back to stare up into Mustang’s furious eyes.  “Maybe I should take my pound of flesh for all the trouble you give me, Fullmetal.”

Ed was too surprised to react when Mustang’s mouth met his, but when the other man’s tongue licked across the seam of Ed’s lips his body caught on, even if his brain didn’t.  He responded to the angry kiss in kind.  He’d wanted a fight, but he’d take a fuck as well. 

He’d ended up on his knees at some point, with Mustang’s cock down his throat, before the General had pushed him back to the table, stretched him open with his fingers, and fucked him over the rest of the daily reports.  He’d come all over Falman’s financial accounts and gotten two sharp smacks to the ass for it.  Ed had moaned while Mustang rubbed his hands over the stinging flesh with a quiet, “Interesting.”

He’d straightened his clothes and left the office before Mustang could say anything else.  The next day when he came in to get his next assignment, Mustang stopped him.

“I should apologize for my inappropriate conduct last night, Fullmetal,” he began.

“No, you shouldn’t.”

Mustang looked at him for a moment before he nodded.  He seemed to understand that Ed didn’t want to talk about it.  In truth there was nothing to say.  Stress relief.  Anger management.  Whatever it was, it was a one-time thing.   “It can’t ever happen again,” Mustang clarified.

“Yeah.  So, do you have something for me or not?” Ed asked.  Mustang handed him a file and that was that. 

Until the next time it happened.

 

***

 

Ed lost track of how many times they’d fucked in Mustang’s office.  He’d been taken on the desk, over the back of the couch, on his hands and knees on the rug.  He’d ridden Mustang’s cock as he sat behind his desk in that stupid chair of his and been held up against the wall with only the General’s surprising strength to keep them both upright. 

It was always fast and furious, but they both got off on it.  That’s just how it was.  Until Ed opened his big mouth, like always, and things began to change.

Mustang had him against the wall, biting at his neck and Ed tried to bat him away.  “Fuck off Mustang, Al is waiting.”

Mustang yanked Ed’s hair until his head was pulled back and Mustang bit hard enough to mark.  “I don’t care,” he said as he rubbed his body against Ed’s.  Ed moaned at the contact.

“I’m not your fucking whore to have whenever you want,” Ed groaned, but he was already undoing Mustang’s belt.

“Apparently you are,” Mustang bit his ear and Ed retaliated by digging automail fingers into his hip, knowing there’d be bruises all over the General’s pale skin.

“If I was a whore, you couldn’t afford me.”

Mustang laughed.  “You are a whore, Ed.  My whore,” he said as he pushed Ed down to the floor.  Ed began to strip himself as he watched Mustang calmly unbutton his shirt as he hovered, watching Ed reveal himself bit by bit.

They fucked hard on the office rug and Mustang made him moan like he was a whore, so Ed couldn’t argue when the other man whispered things like, “Such pretty noises my whore makes,” and “Fuck, you take it so well, my pretty whore.”

In the end, Mustang cleaned himself up and was put together while Ed was still a mess on the floor.  Mustang leaned down and pulled Ed’s head up to meet his lips in a fierce kiss before he caught Ed’s eyes and smirked. 

When he stood up, he pulled something out of his pocket and threw it down in front of Ed. 

“For your services.”

Ed laughed because the Bastard had some nerve.  “738 cens?” Ed demanded.  “Next time, I expect real money, Mustang.  I’m not cheap.”

Mustang waved on his way out and Ed fell back onto the rug and tried to catch his breath.  A few minutes later he dressed and looked around the room to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything.  He was on a train to Resembool in the morning and he wouldn’t have time to come back.

His pocket watch had ended up under the desk somehow and Ed picked it up.  As Ed stood, he realized the money was still on the floor as well.  He grabbed it with a smile and took off to go meet his brother for dinner. 

It became a joke.  Roy would throw his pocket change down for Ed or shove it in his pocket.  It was just a joke. 

Until it wasn’t. 

 

***

 

Ed turned in his report but Mustang barely looked up at him.  There were files piled on the desk, a high stack even for him.  His eyes scanned a page over and over again and Ed watched as, behind that, the man’s mind was making connections and working out angles.

“Were you injured, Fullmetal?” Mustang finally asked.

“No, thanks for asking,” he said sarcastically.

“Was there any unusual damage to note? Anything I’m likely to get a call about tonight or tomorrow?” he asked, still with his eyes down on the file.

“No, it was a straight forward reconstruction assignment.”  He hated them.  They were tedious, but at least it let him travel and Ed loved to be out on the road. 

“Alright.  I’ll read the report later,” Mustang said.  He handed Ed a small envelope.  “I have a meeting with the brass.  Meet me at the address in the envelope at 9.”

Ed opened the envelope to find a stack of bills and a slip of paper with the address written.  He stared at it and it took him a few minutes to put the pieces together.  When he did, he shook his head.  “I’m off duty,” he said.  “You can’t order me around.”

Mustang stood up and straightened his uniform before he grabbed a stack of files and came around the desk.  He didn’t stop until he was beside Ed.  He only paused a moment to lean in and whisper in his ear.  “I’m not ordering you to do anything, Fullmetal.  I’m paying for my whore.”

He left then and Ed stared at the envelope in his hand.  He closed his eyes and heard the door click shut behind him.  This … this wasn’t what he wanted.  Sometime over the past year, he’d found he wanted Mustang’s hands on him.  He wanted to kiss those lips and he wanted to feel him over him, in him.  He wanted more than what he had, but he was too afraid to say what he wanted.  He didn’t want it like this.

Now, it was too late and he knew it.   The joke had gone too far and now … he could end it or he could show up. 

Ed already knew that he’d take the damn money and add it to the growing pile of bills in his bedside drawer.  He’d show up when Mustang demanded and do what Mustang needed, because he couldn’t lose what little he had of the man. 

Or maybe Ed was just reading it all wrong.  Mustang liked his jokes and he liked to play with Ed.  He liked to be in control and he was kinky as hell.  So maybe that’s all this was?  Some sort of new game?  That’s what it had to be.  Because Ed couldn’t have read this wrong the whole time.

So that night he made an excuse to Al to get out of the house and headed to the address he was given.  When he got there, Mustang opened the door with a glass of whiskey in hand.  He was still in uniform, but he’d lost the outer layers.  The part that caught Ed’s attention was that he answered the door barefoot. 

That bothered him more than the alcohol.

“Good evening, Fullmetal,” Mustang said as he took a step back to let Ed in.

“My name is Ed,” he said as he walked in.  “If I’m not here because of the military, stop using that name.”

Mustang looked him over once and nodded.  “Fair enough,” he said as he walked back into the front of the house.  Ed kicked off his boots and left his jacket on a hook by the door, then followed Mustang back.

Ed walked into the room but didn’t know what to do with himself then.  Mustang sat on the couch and took a long drink from his cup before he set it down on the table beside him.  “Come here, Ed.”

Ed walked towards him and stopped in front of Mustang when he held his hand up.  “Strip for me,” he was ordered. 

Ed’s hands shook slightly as he began to push off his jacket.  Of course, Mustang noticed.

“Are you nervous, Ed?” he asked.  “I’ve seen you naked before.”  Ed didn’t answer as he undid the first few buttons of his shirt, then pulled the rest of it over his head.  His face was flushed red though and he tried to ignore the way Mustang’s eyes felt on his skin. 

He tried to keep his eyes averted, but he felt compelled to look at the General.  Mustang’s eyes trailed over his skin and Ed could almost see the way he catalogued the cuts and scrapes and scars on his chest and arms. 

When Ed began to unbuckle his belt, Mustang leaned back slightly into the couch and shifted in the cushion until his legs were further apart.  Ed didn’t see a point in playing games, so he stripped his pants and boxers down in one swoop.  He kicked them back to where his jacket and shirt were and stared ahead, not looking at the other man anymore.  He wanted to hide himself behind his hands, but Mustang wanted to see, so Ed would let him.

“Let your hair down, Ed.”

“What?” He looked up at Mustang at the unexpected request. 

“I said, let your hair out.  I want to see what it looks like when you leave it hanging down.”

Ed did as he was told but it made him feel vulnerable in ways being naked hadn’t.  He shook his head and let his hair fall forward, covering him from Mustang’s sight.  He heard movement, but he kept his eyes downcast.  He saw Mustang’s feet as he moved around behind Ed before he felt a hand draw his hair back over his bare shoulder. 

“I’ve been thinking about this all day, Ed,” Mustang said against the back of his ear as he trailed his lips over Ed’s shoulder.  He shuddered at the touch, but Mustang continued.  “What I would do to you in my house, without a time constraint or an audience that might step in.  I thought long and hard about what I would do, with my beautiful whore.”

He felt Mustang’s hand on his stomach and he was pushed back until he was flush against the man’s chest.  He could feel the press of his hard cock against his lower back. 

“First,” Mustang whispered against his neck.  “You’re going to take off the edge for me.  Then, I’m going to take you to bed and I’m going to make you beg for it, Ed.  I want to hear you beg, like a good little whore.  You will, won’t you?”

Mustang cupped Ed’s cheek and turned his head.  Before Ed could find an answer, Mustang claimed his mouth with a kiss.  His tongue slipped in and Ed moaned. 

A moment later, Mustang pulled away completely and walked back to the couch.  He sat down with his legs spread wide.  The General didn’t need to tell Ed what he wanted after that invitation.  He moved quickly to the edge of the couch and fell to his knees.  He looked up at Mustang who reached down and wrapped his fingers in Ed’s hair.  He gently pushed his head down and Ed nuzzled up against the hardened length beneath the zipper. 

“Yeah,” Mustang said as Ed mouthed at his cock through the fabric.  “You know what I like by now, don’t you, Ed?”

He didn’t direct Ed any further, but his hand never left Ed’s hair.  It didn’t take long until Roy was thrusting against him and Ed took mercy and undid the belt, pulled the zipper down, and pushed his pants off to lay in a pile by Ed’s knees.

Roy took his own cock in hand and only then did he direct Ed’s movement again.  “Fuck,” he moaned.  “So good, feeding you my cock,” he whispered.  Ed couldn’t help but look up.  Mustang was watching as Ed’s hair fell around his face and his mouth was stuffed full.  When Mustang tugged softly, Ed began to slowly move his mouth up and down the length of him, sucking just the way he liked.

Mustang’s head fell back against the couch and his eyes closed.  “Just like that, Ed,” he said softly.  “Want you to swallow me, Ed, every last bit.”

Ed made it last, made it slow and sensual in ways they never did in the office.  This wasn’t a quick fuck but Ed refused to give it any other name.  As the tension built in Mustang’s body, he could see another type of tension drain and he took pride in that, at least.  Whatever had been eating at Mustang, Ed could give him this release.  If there was anyone else who could, Ed doubted Mustang would be with him, playing these games.

“Fuck, fuck, Ed!” Mustang screamed his name as he shot down Ed’s throat.  Ed had felt his body tense at the last moment so he’d pulled back enough that he wouldn’t choke.  Instead, he drank Mustang’s seed down like he’d been told. 

When he was spent, Mustang didn’t move.  Ed let him fall out of his mouth and just rested his head there on Mustang’s thigh.  He muzzled up against him softly and waited.

“Come to bed, Ed,” Mustang said after a few minutes.  Ed stood and took a few steps back as Mustang got off the couch.  He walked back down the hallway and up the stairs to the second door on the left.  His bedroom was dominated by shades of blue.   

This was too real though.  This wasn’t some fuck on the office floor, or a quick stress reliever either.  He wasn’t a goddamn whore and he didn’t want to do this.

Almost as if he could read Ed’s mind, Mustang turned to look at him.  He was dressed in just the button up and there was something so damn enticing about him like this.  There was an intimacy to these acts that belied the envelope shoved full of bills and the money collecting dust in Ed’s bedroom drawer.

Mustang continued to unbutton his shirt as he walked back to Ed.  “You don’t have to walk in here,” Mustang reminded him.  He came closer and his thumb brushed over Ed’s bottom lip.  “I already got my money’s worth out of you.”

But when Mustang pushed his thumb into Ed’s mouth, Ed sucked on it lightly as he reached out and ran his hand along Mustang’s side, where he knew the largest scar was.  Roy moaned and his thumb was replaced by his tongue as he pulled Ed towards the bed. 

Ed didn’t want it like this, but he wanted it too much to walk away.  So he let Mustang push him onto the bed as they grappled over who would end up on top.  In the end, it was always Mustang’s choice and Ed was fine with it.  He was.

Until the day he wasn’t.

 

***

 

“No.”

Mustang looked up from his desk and Ed watched the way his eyes tightened at Ed’s word.  The anger radiated off his body like flames and Ed wanted to burn in it, but he couldn’t keep doing this.  It wasn’t just sex anymore but it wasn’t anything else either. 

Mustang gave him an address and money in an envelope when he needed him.  Sometimes it was his home, others it was a motel or secluded location.  It always started in a similar fashion.  He called Ed his beautiful whore, or his pretty one, always so possessive of him.  Ed got him off, his mouth or hands, his thighs or just their bodies rubbing together. 

Then Mustang took him to bed and if it were anyone else, anything else, he would call it lovemaking.  Once they were in bed, Mustang treated him with the care he never did anywhere else.  Even when it was hard and fast, he was opened up lovingly, stroked and petted and the words murmured into his skin were ‘so beautiful’ and ‘fucking perfect for me’.

Each time, Mustang would pull him into his arms once they were finished and kiss him until languor overtook their bodies and Ed wanted nothing more than to stay there, sated and content.  But that wasn’t his place.  Each time Ed got up to leave, Mustang asked him to stay. 

“Whores don’t spend the night,” Ed always reminded him.

“No, they don’t,” was always the solemn reply.

So, Ed would dress quickly and leave, always with a look back at the man he wanted.  Mustang was always looking at him when he did. 

Ed couldn’t do this anymore though.  Each time it was harder to remember that whatever game they’d started, he was just a whore to Mustang.  Ed wanted to stay and believe that what they shared in bed was the truth, the reality of who they were.  The fact though was that as soon as they left Central Command, Ed was just a whore. 

“What did you say?” Mustang’s words were sharp, like a warning that he meant to inflict damage with them if need be.   

“I said no.”  He dropped the envelope onto Mustang’s desk and took a few steps back. 

“I pay you good money not to say no, Ed.”  He always called him Fullmetal in the office now.  It was a distinction no one else understood, though Ed was sure they’d all noticed.  To the point that they called him Edward or Elric or Fullmetal now.  Never Ed.

“Not anymore.  I’m done with it.”

Mustang came around the table and stared at him.  “I said you don’t get to say no.”

“And I’m done playing your games.  I can’t … keep taking what you’re offering.”

“Do you want more money, is that what this is?”

“I don’t want your money at all,” Ed exclaimed.  He felt tears prickle at his eyes but he refused to give heed to them.  He would never let Mustang see just how much Ed was hurt by this.  The man didn’t deserve to see Ed’s heart slashed like this.

Mustang was furious and Ed took a step away when Mustang came towards him.  It was a mistake because then Mustang was advancing on him quickly and Ed fell back onto the couch.  Mustang’s knee was between Ed’s, up on the edge of the couch, and his mouth covered Ed’s. 

Ed pushed with his hands to get the General away from him, but Mustang didn’t stop.  Ed clenched his fist, automail creaking in warning, but Mustang still didn’t back off.  Ed pushed with enough force to create a little space and then punched him in the face.

Mustang was off balance so he fell to the ground and Ed took the opportunity to get up and put some distance between them.

“Even a whore can say no, Mustang,” he spit out at the man.  “And I’m no longer your whore.”

He left, but not before he saw the look of hurt and betrayal on Mustang’s face. 

The next morning Hawkeye called with a mission.  Ed came in for the folder and was told Mustang was too busy to see him, but she had the details for him.  The day was blessedly Mustang-free. 

Until it wasn’t.  Until thoughts of him made Ed squirm in his seat and wish he’d taken the damn envelope the night before.  Until thoughts of what he should have said filled his mind and made him miss the thugs with the pipes and bats.  Until Ed obsessed over the look of pain on Mustang’s face and never saw the rogue alchemist coming.

 

***

 

“Ed, it’s time for your medication.”

Ed rubbed tired eyes and wondered if he had failed to open them, but then realized it was just that late.  The fire in the grate was low, but it kept the room warm.  Mustang was sitting on the edge of the bed, but his back was to Ed.  Beside him was a tray with a plate of some sort of casserole, water, and a handful of pills.

“Once you take the pills, I’ll leave you alone.”

Ed was too tired to deal with any of it.  He’d let himself get distracted on the job, been hurt, and now he was in the one place he didn’t want to be, because he wanted to be there too damn much.

How the hell was this his life?

There was only one way out of this though, and that was through it.  So he took the pills and he swallowed them dry, then he laid his head back down on the pillow.

“Do you need anything else, Ed?”

“Don’t call me Ed.”

Mustang’s shoulders tensed up, but then he slumped a little and Ed wanted to take the words back, but he couldn’t.  Ed was just Mustang’s whore. He couldn’t be that anymore.

“Do you need anything else?”

“Why are you doing this?” Ed asked before he could think better of it.

“Doing what?”

“Taking care of me.”

“You were hurt and you didn’t let anyone know that you needed help.  Everyone offered to take you in, of course.  But Fuery lives too far away and Hawkeye’s place is too small.  Havoc currently has a girlfriend and she’s over constantly, Breda is a slob at home, and Falman is too much of a neat freak.  So you came home with me.”

“So, you took me in because no one else could?  How generous.”

Mustang growled and Ed’s eyes widened.  “They were just excuses, Ed- Fullmetal – Edward.  Don’t you get it yet?  They were just excuses I made up so that I could take care of you.”

“Why would you want to?  Isn’t that too much trouble for a used-up whore?”

The anger was gone again and Mustang slumped in on himself even further than before.  “Why do you keep saying it like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m the one that tossed you aside?  Like I was playing with you?  Like I didn’t try to move this away from the office and the quick fucks and invite you into my home and into my life?”

“What the fuck?”

Mustang got up before Ed could stop him and he was out the door before Ed could do anything.  He only stopped long enough to stare back at Ed from the doorway.  “Fuck you, Edward,” he said softly.

In the quiet of the room, the pain in Mustang’s voice traveled perfectly well. 

The door didn’t close behind him, and Ed realized it was so that Mustang would hear him if he called out for help.  He stared at the door, at where Mustang had been, and couldn’t think of a damn thing.  His mind just kept replaying the last few minutes of their conversation.  Again, the only thing that would come to mind was, “What the actual fuck?”

None of it made sense and Ed’s mind churned on the details of their tempestuous relationship.  He ate the food that had been brought to him.  He kept quiet when Mustang came back with more water, added wood to the fire, and took the tray in his wake.  Mustang didn’t speak and he didn’t even look at Ed, beyond a cursory once over to establish that he was well.

Even then, there was a pain in his eyes that Ed didn’t understand.  He tried to think back, tried to remember if he’d ever seen it there before.   None of this made any sense.

Until the moment it all did.

 

***

 

The next morning when Mustang brought his tray up, Ed sat up in bed and thanked him.  Mustang looked started by it, but he nodded and gave a gracious, “You’re welcome.  If you need anything, I’m just down the hall.”  He turned and left then, so bothered by Ed’s thank you that he didn’t even check to see if Ed took his medication.  Ed took them anyway, ate the fresh fruit, pastries, and eggs that Mustang had prepared for him, and then settled back into the bed and waited for the drugs to make him sleep again.

He was almost asleep when Mustang came back for the tray so Ed didn’t bother to open his eyes.  He felt Mustang’s hand on his forehead, as if checking his temperature, and then his hair was pushed back off his face.  Ed moved into the touch without thought, too sleepy to check his reactions.

Mustang let out a heavy sigh and then Ed felt his lips brush against Ed’s temple.  “Sleep well, Ed,” he whispered softly.  “Get better soon.  I don’t know how much longer I can take the sight of you in my bed and not hold you like I want.”

Mustang left then and Ed fell asleep before he could do something stupid, like ask Mustang to stay.

When he woke again, he felt like he actually had some energy.  He got out of bed, ignored the aches that were far less than they had been when he’d been overdoing it at home, and pushed the curtains open a little.

“Ed!  What are you doing out of bed?” Mustang demanded as he came into the room with a tray in hand.  He rushed to set the tray on the table and helped Ed back into bed.

“I just wanted a little light.  Relax, Bastard.”  He shrugged out of Mustang’s grasp and dropped back onto the bed.  “I have been getting up to the bathroom just fine on my own, you know.  The window is a third of that distance.”

When Ed looked, Mustang was turned towards the window.  “Do you want it open?  It’s a nice day out.  The breeze would be refreshing.”

Mustang’s voice was back to the carefully controlled neutral and Ed wanted to throttle him over it, but he let out a sigh instead.  “Yeah, okay.”

Mustang pulled the curtains back and tied them off, then opened the window that faced his back yard.  The smell of fresh cut grass and flowers filled the room and Ed watched Mustang take a deep breath before he turned back.

“If you’re feeling up to it, would you rather take lunch here at the table?” Mustang asked, indicating the corner desk where he’d set the tray.

“Yeah.  That’s good,” Ed said as he stood up.

Mustang looked like he was about to help Ed over, but then the doorbell rang.  Mustang sighed.  “That’s probably Hawkeye dropping off more paperwork for me.  I’ll be back in a minute to make sure you got settled.”

It hit Ed then that Mustang was never out of the office.  He was never sick and he never let anything call him away from his desk for too long.  He got up and crossed to the bedroom door so he could eavesdrop on the conversation taking place just down the stairs from him.

“Sir.”  There was a reprimand in Hawkeye’s voice and Ed had no idea how she could make an entire lecture with just one word, but he felt it as surely as Mustang did. 

“Hawkeye, I just need a few more days to make sure he’s okay and the doctors will release him back home.”

“Roy,” she tried again, her tone softer this time.  “Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Making a mess of everything as usual, Lieutenant.”

“At least he’s still here,” she offered.

Mustang let out a small huff.  “I’m not sure that’s a good thing.  It’s never helped me before.”

“If you’d just talk to him-”

“Do you think I haven’t tried?  The one person in the whole of Amestris I need to understand me and I can’t get the words to make sense when he’s in front of me.”

“It can’t really be that bad, Roy.  He’s still … with you … isn’t he?”

The laugh he let out was bitter and it hurt to hear.  He shouldn’t be listening to any of this.  “He’s never been with me, Hawkeye.  That’s the problem.  What he and I want are completely different, so I settled on taking what I can, but even that backfired.  Rather spectacularly.”

“Give it time.  You and Ed, you always seem to gravitate towards one another.  You’ll figure it out in the end.”

“Thank you, Hawkeye,” Mustang said, but the words didn’t hold any conviction. 

There were a few moments of silence before Hawkeye spoke again.  “The other thing you had me dealing with is finally done.”

“What?”

“Yes, it only took nine months to find the right person to fill out the appropriate paperwork to have the Führer sign off on it.  As of this morning, the approval to treat Alphonse’s injuries as military related is complete.  The money Ed paid for his brother’s recovery after the Promised Day should be returned to him shortly.”

“It’s about time,” Roy said and he sounded more like himself.

“How did you manage to convince the Führer to sign off on it.”

“Blackmail.”

“Sir?”

“I reminded him that we had a very long list of missions that Alphonse went on with his brother over the years.  While he was never officially a part of the military, it was obvious the military gained a benefit from his help.  I reminded him that the press would look poorly on the military if it came out a fifteen-year-old boy was injured on the Promised Day in a battle for Amestris and we left the debt in the hands of his sixteen-year-old brother – the Alchemist of the People no less.  The Promised Day may have been five years ago, but Ed is still as highly thought of as he was then.  The Führer granted the exception to have the military pay a civilian’s medical claims at that point.”

“What will you tell Ed?” she asked after a moment.

“Poorly handled paperwork.  He won’t have to worry about making ends meet, Alphonse will have a choice of military doctors whenever he needs them.  I doubt he’ll look too hard at the details.”

“You won’t take credit?” Her voice sounded as incredulous as Ed felt.  Mustang had blackmailed the Führer to get Al’s medical bills paid?

“Why would I?”

“So he knows you did this for him.”

“At this point, if he knew he’d probably spit the money back at me.  It’s better this way, Hawkeye.  Please, just let it go.”

“Roy, I’m worried about you.”

“There is no need.  I’ll be fine.”

“You aren’t.”

“You’re dismissed, Lieutenant,” the response was swift and sharp.  Ed heard a deep sigh, then Mustang continued in a softer tone.  “If you don’t mind, I have a Major to see to.”

The door closed and Ed moved back to the table as quickly as he could.  He took a couple bites out of the sandwich Mustang had brought him and swallowed them down quickly so that the other man wouldn’t think he’d been listening.

Only Mustang didn’t come back up right away.  Ed decided to leave him alone and finish his lunch instead of looking for trouble.

He had no idea what to do with what he’d just heard.  Mustang was having the military pay Alphonse’s medical bills.  It would take a load off his back, that was sure, but it wasn’t like Mustang needed to do it.  He wasn’t even sure how the man knew –

Ed let out a deep breath as he remembered.  Just… another stupid thing in a long line of stupid things he’d done.

Because Mustang hadn’t treated him like a whore at first.  It had really just been a joke.

Until Roy wanted to do something good and Ed hadn’t given him a choice.

 

***

 

They were both on the couch in Mustang’s office, the General lying on his back with Ed sprawled over him.  It had been hard and fast today, but not angry.  Today was just a mutual release of tension that they’d both needed.  Ed had barely been in Central for three months and every time he visited Mustang’s office it seemed like someone was barging into their late-night routines.  Ed hated it, but he knew that so long as Mustang was in the office, it was a possibility.

Now, a hand trailed over Ed’s back and he nuzzled up closer to Mustang’s neck. 

“It’s been way too long,” Mustang said as he pressed a kiss to Ed’s temple.  It was warm in a way that Ed had never expected this to become.  Sometimes the sex was still angry, but sometimes it had turned into banter instead.  Sometimes it was just release.  Sometimes, it was almost affectionate. 

“Ummmm,” Ed murmured softly.  “Stop sending me away before we can get to this part.”

“You act like I have any control over what crosses my desk.”

“You act like I don’t know that you stack your desk to avoid certain files when you don’t want to deal with them.”

Mustang laughed.  “Alright.  Well, those missions needed to be taken care of right away.  I couldn’t just let them sit for my own pleasure.”

“I thought I was just a pain in the ass,” Ed asked as he looked up.

Mustang drew him up and into a kiss.  “A very pleasurable pain in the ass,” Mustang said against his lips.  When Ed pulled away a few minutes later, he sat up and started to look for his clothes. 

“You don’t have to go so soon,” Mustang said as he leaned up and pressed another kiss to Ed’s shoulder. 

“Someone could come knocking any minute and we both know it.  Just because it’s after hours and no one else is in the office doesn’t mean no one will come looking.” It had happened before and Ed had made a quick escape by transmuting a wall around himself in an alcove.  Luckily the soldier who needed Mustang didn’t know his office well enough to wonder at the missing space.

“Come home with me then,” Mustang said.  “Big bed, cozy fireplace, food in the fridge.”

Ed laughed because as good as it sounded, Ed was too far in over his head.  He wanted it, but he didn’t think he and Mustang were on the same page.  To Mustang this was … friends with benefits.  Except they weren’t quite friends to begin with.  Something like that though.  Ed … wanted this to be more.  He should quit all together, but he doubted anyone who slept with the man would stop willingly.  Who could compare, after him?  Because as much as Ed hated to admit it, Roy Mustang lived up to his reputation.

Ed pulled his pants on and got up from the couch.  The coins Mustang had shoved in his pocket earlier jingled and Ed smiled.  “Sorry, but your 1,472 cens worth of time is up,” Ed said as he shoved his shirt over his head.  “Big brother has some medical bills to pay, after all.”

“Ed?”

“Al is waiting for me at home,” Ed said.  It was just a joke but Mustang’s suddenly serious tone made him back-step a bit.  “Call me in late again, when you need me.”  He didn’t think anything of it as he leaned closer and kissed Mustang softly.  Mustang’s hands gripped his shirt tight and Ed was breathless when they parted. 

“Shit, you are so damn good at that.”

“Gotta keep you interested somehow,” Mustang piped back. 

“That’s what the money is for.”  Ed left with a wave over his shoulder and a smile on his face.  He had a brother to go see and he was in a good mood as he left the office, which only happened after these stolen moments with Mustang.

He didn’t get called back into the office for another two weeks.  When he did, Mustang didn’t look at him.  When he completed the mission, Ed brought his report back and was given an address and an envelope. 

He hadn’t realized that everything had been slowly unraveling, until it all fell apart.

 

***

 

Ed tried to be nice when Mustang finally came back to check on him, but Mustang didn’t seem to notice.  Ed didn’t know how to bring up what had happened when the man wouldn’t even look him in the eye.  That night, Mustang came to his room at dinner time without a tray.

“Do you feel like sitting on the couch?” Mustang asked.  “I can light a fire for you if you’d like a change of scenery.”

“Yeah, that’d be awesome.”

“Do you need help?”

He wanted to say yes because he knew then that Mustang would come over and wrap his arm around Ed’s waist and Ed would be allowed to drape his arm over Mustang’s shoulder as they made their way down the stairs.  He couldn’t do it though.  If this was what he thought it was, if this was all misunderstandings and stupidity, then he had to find a way clear of it.  He couldn’t take the easy route.  Because he was sure if he told Mustang he wanted it, they’d be back in bed together the same way they had been.

“It might take me a while, but I can manage it.”

Ed got out of bed and began to make his way across the room.  Mustang gave him a quick nod and left with a backward glance when he reached the door.  He didn’t say anything though as Ed continued to move.

He was still too slow, but that’s what he got for getting distracted on the job.  He’d gotten the hell beat out of him and then almost been part of a failure of a transmutation.  Ed had still ended up caught in the backlash of it and his current state was a pathetic mixture of the two.  It was also why the doctor had wanted Ed to be under someone else’s care – an alchemist preferably -  while he recovered, for fear that the backlash might have caused more damage than they could tell. 

Ed made his way down the stairs and to the front room.  A fire was warmly hit and Mustang had pushed a side table in front of the couch.  Blankets were folded at the other end, easily in reach, along with a pillow.  Beside the couch was his medication, a glass of water, and a stack of books.  On the table in front of the couch was his dinner and a cup of tea.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” Ed said in surprise.

“It’s no trouble.”

“Where are you eating?” Ed asked.  He’d assumed the invitation would include sitting with Mustang for a little while at least.  He’d hoped after eating he’d find a way to get him talking.

“In the kit-”

The phone rang, cutting off Mustang’s words.  He gave Ed a polite smile.  “Excuse me, Edward.  Please, make yourself at home.”

Ed watched him go, then went to the couch and settled in the cushions.  No matter what else you could say about the man, his home was all about the comforts.  Ed wasn’t really cold, but he pulled one of the blankets up over his legs anyway.  There was a comfort in being wrapped up like that.

He took the medication that had been left for him and swallowed it down with some water.  Mustang came into the room a few minutes later, in uniform.

“Edward, I have to leave.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing.  It’s just … politics.  I need to be at this meeting that no one thinks I know about.”

“Go scare the shit out of some politicians,” Ed said with a grin.

Mustang seemed surprised at the words, but he gave Ed a small smile.  “I spoke with the doctor after lunch and he said to stop giving you the one that would make you drowsy.  Please don’t overdo it.  I’ll be back within a few hours at the most.  I could call someone if you would like?  While I’m gone.”

“I’ll be fine.  I was fine by myself for a whole week.”

“You weren’t actually, which is how you ended up here,” Mustang reminded him.  “Fine.  But please, just relax.  I’ll be home soon.”

He took off then and Ed wished he didn’t like the sound of those last words as much as he did.  Not when Mustang hadn’t meant them in that way.  Still, it gave Ed a little time to himself to think his way through things.  Because things weren’t going to get better between him and Mustang if he couldn’t figure out a way to get past all this.  Ed wasn’t sure how he was going to manage though.  He had no idea what Mustang actually wanted, just some guesses and too much hope.

Ed ate his meal alone, quietly thinking but still unable to find a way through the mess of a situation they’d gotten themselves into.

Until he realized it wasn’t as desperate as all that.  Was it?

 

***

 

Hours came and went and Mustang still hadn’t returned.  Ed carried his plate to the kitchen and put Mustang’s meal in the fridge for him for later, if he still wanted it.  He didn’t do the dishes but only because he thought Mustang would freak out when he got home and Ed wanted him to relax. 

When it was late enough, he slowly made his way up to Mustang’s bed.  He stripped out of the loose clothes he’d been wearing and curled up on Mustang’s pillow to wait.

He must have fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes, Mustang was there, looking at him with concern.

“Edward, are you alright?”

“You were gone,” he said sleepily.

“I’m sorry.  The meeting ran later than I had anticipated and I needed to retrieve some things from the office before I could leave again.”

“S’okay,” Ed said softly.  “You’re home now.  Come to bed.”

“Edward?”

“I’m cold and I’ve been alone for the last week and I want some company,” Ed demanded.

“I don’t … I don’t think this is a good idea, Fullmetal.”

“We’re not at work.  Don’t call me that.”

“Edward.”

“Sit down on the edge of the bed and tell me about your meeting.  What are you afraid of?”

He watched as Mustang steeled himself, then he removed the outer pieces of his uniform until he was just in the blue pants and white button-up.  Mustang sat on the edge of the bed, his back stiff and shoulders tensed.

“Why were they having a meeting without you?” Ed started the conversation.

“They were trying to use my current absence as a way to have this meeting without my participation.”

“That sucks.  They should have known better.  You have ears everywhere.”

Mustang let out a deep sigh.  “I can’t do this, Edward.”

“Talk to me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”  He didn’t know if it was the right time to push or not, but that’s how they’d always been towards each other. 

“Why do you suddenly care?” Mustang demanded as he looked at Ed.

Ed took the chance and he grabbed Mustang, pushed him onto his back on the bed and then had to hold on as the room spun around him.

“Ed?”

“Give me a second,” he said as he closed his eyes to the spin.  He had his hands braced on Mustang’s shoulders though and the dizzy spell had given him a few seconds.  He felt Mustang relax onto the bed and Ed let out a deep breath as he opened his eyes.

“This is all stupid,” he said softly.  This really wasn’t how he had planned any of this to happen, but Ed was never good at planning.  That was Mustang’s purview.  Ed’s was more tackling problems to the ground and wrestling them until they got too tired to fight him.  “This is where I want to be.”

“What?” Mustang’s eyes were wide and Ed had never seen him struggle with words like he seemed to be here, but he kept opening and closing his mouth. 

“I want to be with you,” Ed clarified.

Ed had never seen fear in Mustang’s eyes before but it was there clear enough now.  All the things Ed had been wondering about, the things he had guessed, it all fit into place and the expression on Mustang’s face gave Ed the courage he needed to push ahead and get to the heart of it all.    

“Ed, stop.  You can’t just say-”

“Why did it stop being pocket change?” he asked.  He knew it would keep Mustang off-balance but that wasn’t the only reason he asked.  He needed Mustang to follow him in this confession but he also needed to see what had changed on his side.  How had all of this become so convoluted?  At the time, Ed hadn’t thought he stood a chance at something more with Mustang, but he’d been happy with what they had.  How did it fall so far from that?

“What?”

“The money you gave me.” Mustang tried to look away but Ed caught his face in one hand and drew his eyes back up.  “Why did you start actually paying me to be your whore?”

“I didn’t,” Mustang declared.  He sighed then, his eyes looking everywhere but at Ed’s face as he continued.  “I mean, I did.  I … after you talked about your brother’s expenses, I had Hawkeye do some digging.  You never told anyone how far in debt Alphonse’s medical bills had made you.  I wanted to do something to help, but I knew you’d never accept the money.”

“So you thought I’d really be a whore, instead?”

“No, of course not!”

“Why then, the first time?  Not the pocket change.  The real money.”

“I had gone to the bank and had the envelope of money in the drawer.  I was going to give it to you a little at a time.  I thought maybe, it would just stay a joke and you wouldn’t think it was more than that.  I was going to slip it into your pocket so you wouldn’t notice I was giving you more until later.”  Mustang let out a deep breath.  “But that was the night that General Hakuro called another meeting, without my knowledge.  He’s trying to take personal control of the East, along with the Ishvalan regions.”

“After what he did in Liore?”

Mustang nodded.  “Tonight was the second attempt.  That night I was scrambling to figure out what he was doing and how to stop him.   I had already written my address on the envelope, to invite you over.  I was too focused on work and didn’t realize until much later that I had given you the whole stack of bills, or what it would look like.  It never seemed to bother you, when I treated you that way in the beginning of the night, and I was too far into my head at the office to pay enough attention to you.  I’m sorry.  When I got home that night… I should have just sent you away.  I was exhausted and frustrated, but I wanted to see you.  I didn’t think…”

“What?”

“I thought you’d stay.  But then you got up and left.  Everything went to hell.  You really took the money and left.  You didn’t call me out on it or get upset.  You just … took the money and left me.”

It was everything Ed had wanted to hear but hadn’t actually believed he would.  He stared at Mustang until the other man opened him mouth to speak again, but Ed stopped him as he leaned down and kissed him softly. 

Mustang’s hands gripped Ed’s hips but he stared up at Ed in surprise.  “Edward?”

“Make love to me, Bastard.”

“I can’t b-”

“I won’t hurt you,” Ed said softly.  “Roy, please.”

He’d never called him by his first name and his eyes widened at it now.  And then the world spun and Ed was on his back and Mustang was over him, watching him.  Ed smiled at him and reached up to cup his face with his palm. 

“Edward,” the way he said his name was like a revelation and Ed had no way to answer it.  Instead, he pulled him in until they were kissing again.  Mustang’s tongue licked across his lips, asking permission, and Ed opened to him eagerly. 

When Ed pulled back to get a breath, he smiled up at Mustang.  “You’re overdressed, Roy,” Ed said as he began to unbutton the other man’s shirt. 

“Edward, please,” Mustang put a hand on Ed’s and stopped his movements.  “I can’t … I can’t do this unless… I don’t …”

“Eloquent as always, Bastard,” Ed said, but he was smiling and his tone was far more gentle than his words implied.  “Just answer me this.  All those times when we were in bed together, when I went to leave and you asked me to stay, did you mean the night?  Or did you want more?  Because I love you and I never wanted to leave but I couldn’t stay.  I thought … I thought you just wanted a warm body and mine was convenient.”

“Edward, the first time I had you, I was already too far deep.  The only reason it happened was because I was in love with you and knew you would never give me a chance to show you how different I could be, away from the office and the uniform.  We fight like fire and ice at work, but I believed we could be something beautiful together.  That night, I took what I thought was my only chance to have even the slightest taste of you.  I’ve been an idiot ever since.  I hid my feelings because I was too afraid of being destroyed by you.”

Mustang trailed the back of his fingers over Ed’s cheek and sighed.  “I would deserve it, for how I made you feel.  But never doubt, Edward, that I love you.  I don’t love easily and I’m not easy to love, but maybe we have a fighting chance, together.”

“That does sound like something worth fighting for,” Ed said as he pushed the shirt from Mustang’s shoulders. 

This time, it was so like the many times they’d spent in bed, but not at all the same.  Whispered words of love were so very different from words of appreciation and complements.  Mustang’s eyes, no longer hiding the true depth of their feelings, expressed so much that Ed had never seen before. 

When they were both sated, Ed stared up at Mustang and smiled softly as he took in the dazed look on his lover’s face.

“Stay,” he asked against Ed’s lips.

“Until the morning?” Ed asked.

“Until the days end all together.  Until dawn never breaks and sun never sets.  Stay Edward.  Until time itself resets around us.  I can’t accept anything less.”


End file.
